Empathy

IDEO is known for its innovation. The noted Silicon Valley company is responsible for such game-changing inventions as the computer mouse, the laptop, and the "Lavatory Occupied" sign on airplanes (among others).  David Kelley, the founder, was asked the secret of innovation.  His one-word answer sounded spiritual:  "Empathy."  By empathy he meant genuine concern for the customer's needs.  Kelley said the key is to watch the customer closely and see at what point they encounter difficulty, and cringe.  Then fix it so that never happens again.

As an example, Kelley noted the frustration airline passengers had when trying to use the restroom.  They would get up out of their seat, only to find that someone was already using the restroom.  Kelley asked himself, "Isn't there a way that we can send a signal to everyone when the restroom is available?"  The question led to a solution - a lighted sign that ties into the bathroom door lock.  Frustration solved.

One of the "arrows out" expressions of CTK is empathy for the unchurched.  We try hard to eliminate obstacles, remove confusion and squelch insecurity.  We try to make it as easy as possible for a non-churched person to feel at home with us.

Why do we...

Have greeters and ushers stationed at key entry points to welcome attenders?  Empathy...a person may not know whether they are wanted.
Dress in everyday clothes, instead of "dressing up"?  Empathy...a person may not have special clothes to wear.
Try to speak in plain language, instead of theological jargon?  Empathy...a person may not have the training to understand.
Hand everyone a program with upcoming events and a teaching outline?  Empathy...a person may not know what is going on.
Picks songs that are both understandable and enjoyable for all?  Empathy...a person may not relate to sacred music or insider phrases.
Have clear signage that leads to the bathrooms or kids rooms?  Empathy...a person may not know where they need to go.
Conduct a one-hour service?  Empathy...a person may not be used to sitting for an extended period of time.
Provide free coffee for everyone to enjoy?  Empathy...a person may need to have a cup of coffee to feel at ease...or to stay awake!

Empathy is why we go to great lengths to make things easier and solve problems.  Empathy is why we have staff meetings.  Empathy is why we organize.  Empathy is why we try to keep improving.  If we are lagging in our execution, it may be because we are lagging in our empathy.  Do we really care about these people?  Are we willing to do the work necessary to answer questions and eliminate obstacles?

Another word for empathy is love.

How

One of the most beautiful things I've heard in a while was said during our recent Arrows Out Conference.  Andy Geer, who pastors the new CTK in Monroe, Washington, was recounting his first meeting with Missy Willis from CTK Network Resources.  He said that at the end of the meeting, Missy turned to him and asked, "How can we help you and your Worship Center?  What do you need?"  The question was sincere.  Missy really wanted to know.  Andy said, he couldn't remember ever being asked that in all of his years of being a pastor.

Come to think of it, the question is way too rare.  Yet, it gets at the very heart of caring, doesn't it?  Wouldn't you love to be asked that today?

I remember as a young pastor (in a traditional setting) how that question changed the dynamic in a very structured and intense meeting (we had a lot of those).  Our Board was meeting with a man who had recently begun attending our church.  This man was a representative from a ministry with which we were unfamiliar.  So he came to the board meeting to be interrogated.  We stopped just short of water-torture, as I recall.  But as the man got up to leave, one of the few servant-leaders in our midst said, "One more thing.  How can we help you?  How can we support your ministry?"  The man's shoulders suddenly relaxed as a smile hit his face.  He said, "Thank you so much for asking.  That means a lot to me."  He sat back down and he shared with us the needs he had, both personally and in the ministry.  With that one question, the mood of the room snapped into love.  I think we all realized in the moment we had been asking the wrong questions.  We were behaving as if we were the center of the universe and he was orbiting around us.  The question "How can I help..." reoriented us all to see his needs as the point of the meeting.

Civilian

As a soldier of Christ, you may not be able to get to participate in activities that others do.  These are areas of involvement that are not necessarily wrong, in and of themselves, they are just not prudent for you.  Paul instructed Timothy, "No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs — he wants to please his commanding officer" (2 Timothy 2:4).  "Civilian affairs" might include:

• Time wasters, such as TV, internet, etc.
• Amoral worldly activities that take time and energy away from God’s work.
• Draining relationships that take energy away from those who need you most.
• Ministries that are not “core” to how God has gifted and wired you.
• Intractable conflicts or disputes, that are not about the main thing.

Others may have freedom to get involved in things that are not eternal, life-changing, or life-giving.  As a servant of Christ, you will not have these freedoms.  You are not your own.  You are bought with a price.  You are a living sacrifice.  Your involvements will be limited.  Why?  Because...

1.  You recognize God’s call on your life (“serving as a soldier”).  You are no longer a civilian.  You're in the army now...the Lord's army ("Yes Sir!").
2.  You desire to please Him most of all (“he wants to please”).  Others may not understand why you cannot do the things they do, or the things they want you to do.  But you are not living for "others."  You are living for Him.  You only want to do what pleases Him.
3.  You desire to obey His commands (“his commanding officer”).  What He says, goes.  Period.  He says "Jump."  You say, "How high?"  

By signing up for His service, what you get in replacement of the "civilian" is the "eternal" - eternal victories, eternal joys, eternal rewards.

Onward Christian soldiers.  March on!

Faithful

If we are faithful with what we have been given, God will give us more.  This simple maxim has proven true over the course of the CTK story.

When CTK met in a single location, and involved less than a hundred people, there was a concerted effort to do the best we could with what we had.  Our worship team was small, but well rehearsed.  Our signs were informative and well placed.  Our coffee was hot (we had someone stationed near the table to clean it and keep it stocked).  The greeters were friendly.  The kids rooms were clean.  The bathrooms had toilet paper and towels.  The kids workers were in their rooms ahead of time, and they were identifiable with shirts and badges.  The service started, and ended, on time.  We made a big deal out of the coffee mug we were giving to our guests.  We did what we could think to do to meet the needs of those who were coming our way.  And God ended up sending more people, maybe because we did pretty well with the ones he had sent already.

Contrast that with a small church that is not tending to detail:  The worship team is still practicing as people are arriving.  The powerpoint slides are being formatted just minutes before the service is to begin.  Kids workers are showing up at the same time as the kids.  Because someone is absent, a classroom has a sign posted, "Sorry, no class today."  The coffee pot is empty, and the information table is a mess.  The programs are being just laid on a chair for people to pick up, instead of handed out personally.  The service starts late, and of course, runs over.  People don't greet the newcomers, but instead jump into cliques when the service is over.  The whole experience is half-baked, as if this church was not planning on having guests that weekend.  This lack of attention to detail does not work for people.  People can understand that you may be a small congregation.  What they don't understand is why you are sloppy congregation.  They appreciate cozy; they just don't appreciate careless.  They like little, they loath lazy.

But of bigger concern is God's opinion about all this.  He has already gone on record that faithfulness precedes fruitfulness.  So before you ask God for more people, ask "How are we doing with the ones He has already sent?"  You will be a bigger church, after you are a better church.

Easy

Some solutions are simple, but they are anything but easy.  Consider, for example, the debt crisis in America.  It is actually very simple what needs to be done to balance the national budget and pay back the debt.  It's simple math, requiring simple adjustments.  But it's anything but easy.  The consequences of budget cuts are so painful to consider that no one really wants to consider them (so they aren't).  Plus the political implications of being the instigator of such draconian measures - well, that's a recipe for a pretty short political career, so everyone wants someone else to go first.  But no one can say that the solutions aren't obvious.  

But isn't this how it almost always falls for those in leadership?  It's simple.  It's just not easy.

Perhaps the location in which you are meeting is working against you, not for you.  The solution is rather simple:  move to a better location.  But that's not easy.  Not easy to find a better spot, or convince people of the need, or actually get stuff packed up.  The challenge is all in the implementation, not the decision.

Maybe you have a staff person is not getting the job done, nor will they.  That's a simple one.  Replace them with someone who will or can.  But it is not easy to make a move like that.  It's emotionally taxing and organizationally perilous.  So many trudge on for years with an untenable situation rather than do what needs to be done.

It's possible that in your Worship Center there is a very small percentage of people connected in small groups.  You know what to do.  But small group work is very difficult work.  It's easy-er to just get up and preach another sermon.  It's hard to make the phone calls, schedule the meetings, and actually get people connected.

Why is the distinction between simple and easy important?  Well, for one thing, you might be praying the wrong prayer.  You might be praying, "God help me to know what I must do" when you should be praying, "God help me to do what I must do."  For many of us, it is not a lack of insight that is holding us back.  It is a lack of courage.

Discreet

There is a lot of talk about guns in the wake of the Connecticut shootings.  Our regional paper conducted some interviews with local leaders about their feelings on gun control, particularly the idea of stationing armed officers in schools, etc.  One of those questioned was the superintendent of a nearby school district.  He said that he didn't want to comment on gun control, but that he would discuss school security.  When asked about an important subject, he didn't answer.  I know him.  He's a pretty sharp guy.  I'm sure he has a point of view on guns.  He just wasn't willing to offer it up.  Wise man.  He knows that no matter what he says, he will alienate half of his constituency.  He knows that he is in the education business, not the gun lobbying business.  So he is discrete.  He stays focused on the bigger mission.

I wish more Christian leaders would learn the art of non-disclosure.  Just because you have an opinion doesn't mean that you need to offer it up.  Masterful leaders learn to keep their big trap shut, about a whole host of topics that aren't "the main thing."  This can be taken to extreme, of course.  Where a leader will not disclose enough about what is really going on.  But for every leader who is too tight-lipped, there have to be ten who talk too much, about too much.  Loose lips sink ships.

This, to me, was one of the better takeaways from Spielberg's movie Lincoln, chronicling the president's political maneuvering in passing the thirteenth amendment to the constitution of the U.S.A.  At the time when a bill abolishing slavery was making its way through congress, something else was happening.  The war-weary south was reaching out to bring an end to the war.  Not the end of slavery, just the end of war.  Lincoln slow-played those negotiations, while he pushed hard for the amendment, fearing that those in the the northern states would lose their gumption on the real issue if offered a cease-fire.  But the rumor was circulating that the south was offering a truce.  Lincoln dodged.  When Lincoln was asked whether Confederate delegates were in Washington, he deftly replied, "I don't know of any delegates in Washington."  (The delegates had been directed to go to Hampton Roads, Virginia.)  

If it would have been me, knowing how much pain people were in over the war, I would have been tempted to say, "Yeah, the rebels might be ready to capitulate!"  But saying that would take all the focus off of slavery and onto pain relief.  Lincoln was too great of a leader for that.

Initiative

If someone were to ask me about the characteristics of an ideal church leader, initiative would be at the top of my list.  There are people who make things happen, people who watch things happen, and people who ask, “What just happened?”  Leaders make things happen.
  

Things don’t happen without someone taking initiative.  Let me repeat:  Things don’t happen without someone taking initiative.  This is especially true in church.  In What Leaders Do I break it down like this:  Leaders see what needs to be done (they see both current reality and a preferable future), and do what needs to be done (they enlist others and follow through).  To reverse engineer this, if something needs to be done, and it isn’t getting done, it’s because someone isn’t taking initiative.  Someone isn’t leader.  They are either watching things happen, or wondering what is happening.

Initiative has to come from within a person.  It can be encouraged, but not created, by others.  For some inner reason, people of initiative actually care about what is going on.  They take responsibility for results.  They activate themselves and others to grow, build, develop, expand.  They have goals.  They have aspirations.  They cannot abide the status quo.  Whatever they are looking at, they are thinking about how to expand it and improve it.  Growing ministries are led by such types.

In a grace-based, relational ministry I sometimes fear that people get the wrong idea:  I don’t have to work hard…it’s all love here.  Grace both inspires us and frees us up to do the right kind of work, in the right kind of way.  Love, acceptance and forgiveness is how we do the work, but not the work itself.  The work itself is outreach.  The work itself is disciple-making, the hardest work of all.  “Loving” is not work.  Actually inviting, including, involving people – that’s work.  We may do it because of love, and we should.  But the work will not grow without someone actually doing the work of setting up meetings, replying to emails, making phone calls, writing job descriptions, training leaders, etc.

It is the ultimate dream to build an expanding team of people who take the highest initiative for God, his church, his people.  In this regard, there are levels of initiative, from lowest to highest:

1) wait until told 

2) ask what to do

3) recommend what to do

4) act but inform

One of the statements our value of empowerment makes is, “We are encouraging high initiative of everyone.”  Among pastors, staff and directors, levels 3) and 4) are required. 

In the parable of the talents, various servants were entrusted with opportunity.  God was only upset with the one who did nothing; the one who seemingly had to be told what to do.   

Keepers

Recent experiences have given me some insights and resolve regarding organizations institutionalizing.  Why do groups institutionalize?  Because that is the default setting.  Your group will too, given time.  You don't need to do anything for it to happen.  And that really is the challenge.  It takes intentionality and effort to keep (a key word) it from happening.  If you and others do not show that kind of intentionality, it is just a matter of time.  

In the CTK story, what specifically do we have to "Keep"?

We have to KEEP the main thing the main thing.  The main thing (according to Jesus) is love for God and people.  We have to keep getting better at being loving.  We know that we are becoming the disciples that Jesus had in mind, when both God and people feel loved by us.  The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.  

We have to KEEP the arrows pointed out.  This is not about us.  This is about the countless lost souls all around us.  "Arrows out" means a lot of things.  It means that those of us who are already here pay the price for those who are not.  It means that we behave in a way that is winsome to the broader community.  We need to keep saying, "Always a Place for You."   

We have to KEEP following the bread crumbs.  The CTK story has been about individuals following the leading of God.  But we have to keep following.  We cannot settle, or stagnate.  Where does God want to take us next?

Remember, someone has to keep it from happening, to keep it from happening.  

Guardrails

Cliffs prove dangerous, but guardrails are helpful to protect us from disaster.  The ideal placement for a guardrail is not right the edge of the cliff, but back aways. 

One of the great threats in ministry is the temptation for a pastor to develop an inappropriate relationship with a member of the opposite sex.  In order to keep away from this danger, the guardrails should be placed as follows, as it relates to the opposite sex:

1.    Do not meet with a woman on an ongoing basis (including prayer meetings).  Make the handoff to a counselor or another woman.

2.    Always meet in a public place, and during normal business hours.

3.    Do not sit next to them, and if possible, have a desk or table between you.  Sit with good posture, in a professional manner.

4.    Never meet at your home, or theirs, unless your spouse is present.  Never meet in an undisclosed location, or in secret.

5.    Do not give a frontal hug – only side-armed hugs.  If possible limit physical contact to a brief handshake, or none at all.

6.    Never say, “I love you” or “You are special to me,” etc.  Always make clear that any caring is from a spiritual perspective.

7.    Do not ride alone in a car.

8.    If they correspond with you, let them know that you share correspondence with your wife or husband.

9.    Maintain eye contact when in conversation, do not look elsewhere.

10. When having conversation with a couple, look at the person of the same sex, more than the person of the opposite sex.

11. Never wink, or give what could be perceived to be a flirtatious gesture.

12. Do not use innuendo, double meanings, or tell an inappropriate joke.

Agitation

The Islamic world is up in arms over a movie produced by a half-rate amateur film-maker in California:  Innocence of Muslims.  Ironically, the vast majority of Muslims have not seen the movie, and never will.  So why are they so upset?  They've listened to their leaders, the imams and mullahs.  The islamic leaders have told the people how to feel about it.  The movie was an excuse to agitate.  What it proves, though, is that people will be motivated when they get angry enough.  People respond to emotion.

What is the application for us as Christian leaders?  I think we need to get in touch with the emotion of the gospel.  We need to have a passion for grace.  We need to get excited about loving the lost.  We need to be stirred by the Holy Spirit.  We need to be passionate about Christ.  Are we being stirred up, and are we stirring up our people?  John Maxwell said, "People change when they hurt enough that they have to, learn enough that they want to, or receive enough that they are able to."  What our people need to receive from us is a Spirit-inspired agitation.  

But it has to start in our own hearts, first.  Old-time saints said it well, "If we want a fire in the pew, there has to be an inferno in the pulpit."

Inauthentic

The first words of the CTK Mission Statement are:  To create an authentic Christian community.   An authentic Christian community is difficult to create.  An inauthentic culture is a little easier to develop, partly because there are so many characters who will come along to "help" you, like:

The “Expert" - this is the person who is not interested in learning from others, only teaching others.  They overestimate their own contributions, and underestimate the contributions of others.  This arrogance precludes them from the benefits of true community.

The “Pious” - this is the person who is mostly concerned with how good they are, and how good others are.  They takes great pains, and gives them to others.  They are not grace-based; they are works based.  They make it difficult for others to feel loved and accepted in their current state.

The “Silent Observer” - this is the person who does not engage.  They are completely at ease sitting back and watching others the work of relationships.  They don't share, they only receive.  

The “Mind Reader” - this is the person who spends a bulk of their time assessing other's thoughts, behaviors and motivations.  They are no good at it, but that doesn't keep them from trying to live everyone else's life.  (And as long as they are living someone else's, they'll never have to live their own.)

The “Placator” - this is the person who only wants to see everyone "get along," even if it means forsaking reality.  They don't want to face real issues, preferring to just cover them up.  They vote for the superficial over the substantive.  

The “Devil’s Advocate” - this is the person who is contrarian "just because."  They just can not bring themselves to be positive, or affirm others.  It's hard to have community with them, because you can only align with them on the downbeat.  

The “Non-Stop Talker” - this is the person who never gives up the mic once they get it in their hands.  They filibuster the conversation - losing touch with the fact that relationships are intended to be a back and forth proposition. 

Damage

When people gather together in Jesus' name it is usually a good thing.  People are usually blessed by getting to know each other.  But not always.  People can also get hurt in relationships, in several ways.  Christian Education guru Roberta Hestenes identified seven ways that communication can actually damage community.

1. Gossip and false witness - Sharing ideas/opinions/news that damages reputations, effectiveness and self-esteem of others 

2. Triangulation - avoidance of face-to-face, indirect communication, appeals to outside authority as referee, involving third parties before direct conversation.

3. Withholding pertinent information - knowing important facts or realities but not volunteering information helpful to others, enjoying “insider secrets.”

4. Using verbal or nonverbal speech to control - domineering, interrupting repeatedly, rudeness, loudness/anger, hostility, overtaking, not pausing or stopping, disruptive humor.

5. Attacks or Accusations/Labeling - quick criticism or negative reactions, assumption of bad motives, undermining credibility, name-calling, nonverbal expressions or gestures that undermine speaker.

6. Favoritism or Neglect/Indifference - affirming one or two people consistently more than others, not noticing or ignoring one or more of those present.

7. Persistent Silence or Distracting Behaviors - habitual silence or prolonged withdrawal from participation, changing the subject prematurely, unfriendly stubbornness, inappropriate gestures or behaviors.

 With this list in hand, it's a good idea to:

1.  Review your own ways of relating.  Are you, as a leader, putting the unction in dysfunction?  Remember, the pace of the leader is the pace of the team.

2.  Review your team's behavior.  When you gather with your staff, is everyone on their best behavior?  Or is your team being sabotaged?  Think through your team with this list in mind.

3.  Review your groups.  Do they know what bad behavior looks like?  Maybe it's time to review the list.  Equipping sometimes means informing people of what doesn't work.

4.  Review the body.  Are there cancerous cells that are destroying your community?  If so, leaders see what needs to be done, and do what needs to be done.  Gently instruct, and if necessary, take action to protect your people from damage.

Catalyst

When a church has “outreach momentum” the ministry can grow rapidly.  When the whole church gets involved in outreach - inviting, welcoming, including, reaching – there is positive reinforcement.  Without momentum, the few in your body with evangelistic fervor can get to feeling lonely and discouraged.  As the old saying goes, “a single log makes a lousy fire.”

Who is responsible for creating and sustaining outreach momentum?  The leader.  The pace of the leader is the pace of the team.  Saints used to say, “If we want a fire in a the pew, we must have an inferno in the pulpit.”  So in addition to keeping your own fire going for outreach, as a leader you must be a catalyst for others and the organization, perhaps through one of these means:

Events

An event is a one-time activity that can bring a “spike” to energy and catalyze momentum.  Events are a way to hyper-activate “bringers and includers.”  Events can also place your ministry in people’s awareness.  

Campaigns

Campaigns are sustained efforts for outreach.  Sometimes campaigns are themed, such as 40 Days of Purpose.  A campaign amplifies momentum by having everyone’s attention focused for a period of time.  

Emphases

An emphasis is a repeated idea or ideal, with the hope that it will prompt new behaviors.  Hybel’s “Just walk across the room” is an excellent emphasis, as would be, “Let’s try to all meet our neighbors by the end of this year.”

Initiatives

An initiative is an outward-focused objective that can stir people’s passions for outreach.  An initiative might be, “We don’t want to see any child in our county go to bed hungry.”  Or, “We are going to pray every Wednesday at 6am for the lost in our county.”

Collaborations

Collaboration is a partnership with another outreach organization to create synergy.  “We are partnering with Young Life to see if we can send the entire Senior Class to camp.”

These are just some of the means for stoking the fire.  However a leader does so, s/he must keep the mission stirred up in the minds and hearts of God's people. 

Reconsidering

Do you ever second-guess where you are going?  Sometimes you wrestle with the Spirit, "Did I hear you right?"  Sometimes you have to duel with your own subconscious, "This isn't going to work, is it, Dave?"  Should you be doing this kind of mental gymnastics?  The answer is, "It depends."

Seth Godin, in a blog, lays out the wisdom of both not reconsidering, and reconsidering:

There are two common mistakes here:

Frequently reconsidering decisions that ought to be left alone. Once you enroll in college, it is both painful and a waste to spend the first five minutes of every morning wondering if you should drop out or not. Once you've established a marketing plan, it doesn't pay to reevaluate it every time your shop is empty. And once you've committed to a partnership, it's silly to reconsider that choice every time you have a disagreement.

In addition to wasting time, the frequent reconsideration sabotages the effort your subconscious is trying to make in finding ways to make the current plan work. Spending that creative energy wondering about the plan merely subtracts from the passion you could put into making it succeed.

On the other hand, particularly in organizations, failure to reconsider long-held decisions is just as wasteful. Should you really be in that business? Should this person still be working here? Is that really the best policy?

Jay Levinson used to say that you should keep your ad campaign even after your best customers, your wife and your partner get bored with it. Change it when the accountant says it's time. And Zig Ziglar likes to talk about the pilot on his way from New York to Dallas. Wind blows the plane off course after a few minutes. The right thing to do is adjust the course and head on. The wrong thing to do is head back to New York and start over (or to reconsider flying to Dallas at all).

Lament

Lament is a tool that every minister of Christ should have in his or her tool bag.  What does it mean to lament?  It means to express passionately your grief.  It is crying.  It is mourning.  It is grieving.  Sometimes it's all you, or others, can do.

I've not seen much written on this topic, but in Wayne Cordeiro's book Sifted, he writes:

"A biblical response to disappointment, to the unanswered questions, the unresolved tension, the pain and suffering people bring to us is inviting them to lament.  This means that when a person comes to you, and the problem cannot be solved, you point them to Jesus and invite them to honestly pour out their heart to the Lord.  We know that God is the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3).  When we lament, we acknowledge that God is good and sovereign, yet life is not as we would like it to be.  We find validation for our grieving in our lamentation.  We learn that our emotions are permitted, that it is right to express them, even when those emotions include anger at injustice.  The biblical form of lamenting allows people to feel and express the discomfort and disappointment they experience living in a fallen world.  When you invite people to lament, you are acknowledging that you, as a church leader, are with them in their journey, and you empathize with what they are going through.  You do not try to cheer them up.  You do not try to fix all their problems.  You allow them to feel the hard truth, the raw emotions of the problem or circumstance.  And you point them to God."

Source

In ministry you often get feedback.  People have opinions...about your messages, the music, the kids ministry, you name it.  But not all feedback is created equal.  You must "consider the source."


Wikipedia has added a new feature at the bottom of their articles.  It's called the Article Feedback Tool.  It allows someone to offer their opinion about the person who has offered their opinion.  (Hope I didn't lose you.) With Wikipedia the articles are created by volunteers, some of whom are really top-notch experts, but not all.  Since a Wiki allows just about anyone to weigh in, it is hard to know sometimes whether the source is valid, or off their rocker.  So at the bottom, readers can now rate the submission according to four categories:


Trustworthy
Complete
Objective
Well-written


I think this might be a helpful grid by which to evaluate your critics, or even the occasional, "Pastor, I don't mean to be critical, but..."


1.  Ask yourself, "Is this person trustworthy?"  If you don't trust them, then don't trust their feedback.  Give greater weight to the opinions of those you trust, while being careful that you don't miss the "grain of truth" that sometimes is delivered by a poor messenger.


2.  Ask, "Is their criticism complete?"  Are they missing important elements, or points of view?  If so, you must adjust your response accordingly.  I often find that sheep do not share the same perspective as the shepherd.  Let them know what you see from where you stand.


3.  Ask, "Is this objective feedback?"  Sometimes people reason from their emotions, and lose all objectivity.  Sometimes people have an axe to grind, or a pet issue over which they obsess.  If so, take this into consideration.


4.  Ask, "Is this feedback well-written?"  Probably not the most salient of the four questions, but worth asking from a couple standpoints.  If they have a valid point, but have brought something up in a poor manner, you don't want to miss the point just because their form was bad.  On the other hand, you might want to kick it back to them for more work.  Say, "Can you rephrase that or say it another way?" or "Can you send that to me again, but this time break out your concerns a little better for me."


Feedback is valuable, but more so when it comes from a credible source.

Fear

In Yann Martel's novel, The Life of Pi, Pi ends up on a lifeboat with a tiger.  Both parts of that are scary - the ocean, and the tiger.  From this place of vulnerability, Pi analyzes his fear:

"I must say a word about fear.  It is life's only true opponent.  Only fear can defeat life.  It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know.  It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy.  It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease.  It begins in your mind, always.  One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy.  Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy.  Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out.  But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier.  Doubt does away with it with little trouble.  You become anxious.  Reason comes to do battle for you.  You are reassured.  Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology.  But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low.  You feel yourself weakening, wavering.  Your anxiety becomes dread..."

Reading his description reminds me of some of the super-spy movies (Bond, Bourne, etc.) or the comic-book super-heroes (Spiderman, Superman, etc.).  Seemingly fear has a counter to everything we throw at it.  But Pi reveals fear's kryptonite:  truth.  

"You must fight hard to express it.  You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it.  Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you."

I don't know if this has an application to you this week, or not.  But my guess is that we all have fears to battle.  Every defeat sets you up for future defeat.  Every victory sets you up for future victory.   So I am praying for the truth to set you free.

Reconsidering

Do you ever second-guess where you are going?  Sometimes you wrestle with the Spirit, "Did I hear you right?"  Sometimes you have to duel with your own subconscious, "This isn't going to work, is it, Dave?"  Should you be doing this kind of mental gymnastics?  The answer is, "It depends."

Seth Godin, in a blog, lays out the wisdom of both not reconsidering, and reconsidering:

There are two common mistakes here:

Frequently reconsidering decisions that ought to be left alone. Once you enroll in college, it is both painful and a waste to spend the first five minutes of every morning wondering if you should drop out or not. Once you've established a marketing plan, it doesn't pay to reevaluate it every time your shop is empty. And once you've committed to a partnership, it's silly to reconsider that choice every time you have a disagreement.

In addition to wasting time, the frequent reconsideration sabotages the effort your subconscious is trying to make in finding ways to make the current plan work. Spending that creative energy wondering about the plan merely subtracts from the passion you could put into making it succeed.

On the other hand, particularly in organizations, failure to reconsider long-held decisions is just as wasteful. Should you really be in that business? Should this person still be working here? Is that really the best policy?

Jay Levinson used to say that you should keep your ad campaign even after your best customers, your wife and your partner get bored with it. Change it when the accountant says it's time. And Zig Ziglar likes to talk about the pilot on his way from New York to Dallas. Wind blows the plane off course after a few minutes. The right thing to do is adjust the course and head on. The wrong thing to do is head back to New York and start over (or to reconsider flying to Dallas at all).

Uprising

You might call 2011 the "year of the uprising." It's been a year of riots and social unrest. All around the world we've seen people take to the streets in protest. There has been the "Arab spring" in Tunisia, Egypt and Libya. In England a March on a police station led to a night of arson and destruction. In Athens over 100,000 revolted against pay and pension cuts. Millions protested in 80-plus countries during the Global Day or Rage.

While social media has been credited with facilitating these spontaneous combustions of protest, Twitter has ended up only being the paper on which the invitation was written. Researchers have identified two much more powerful, psychic contributors that actually provide the energy for large numbers of people to get off the couch and have their voice heard, at the risk of embarrassment, arrest or even death.

Clifford Stott, senior lecturer in social psychology at the University of Liverpool, has spent 20 years researching the dynamics of crowd violence, mainly among soccer fans. "Stott boils down the violent potential of a crowd to two basic factors. The first is what he calls legitimacy - the extent to which the crowd feels that the police and the whole social order still deserve to be obeyed. In combustible situations, the shared identity of a crowd is really about legitimacy, since individuals usually start out with different attitudes toward the police and then are steered toward greater unanimity by what they see and hear...The second factor in crowd violence, in Stott's view, is simply what he calls power: the perception within a crowd that it has the ability to do what it wants, to take to the streets without fear..." (Bill Wasik, Crowd Control, Wired, January 2012)

The transferability of these concepts to the Christian movement is obvious. The two co-conspirators to uprisings are 1) legitimacy, and 2) power. To see large numbers of people respond, the participants must be convinced that the cause is legitimate (worthy) and that they have sufficient power to do something about it.

For those of us who want to see Christianity spread like a plague, from life to life, home to home, and village to village, the insights are compelling. For Christianity to become a Great Awakening, participants must be imbued with the legitimacy of Christ's kingdom, and the feeling they have the power necessary to carry it forth. Of course, Christ is THE source of all legitimacy and power. In the commissioning passages (Matthew 28:19,20 and Acts 1:8), Christ even spoke of "authority" and "power." He was letting us know that we have everything we need to spark a movement.

The secular uprisings of 2011 may signal a deepening longing for people to be a part of something bigger than themselves, something world-changing. As Jesus described in Matthew 9, the people are "harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." If the church of Jesus Christ can rise up in His legitimacy and power, 2012 may be a year when we see "a prevailing, multi-location church emerge that will transform the spiritual landscape." The harvest is great. Pray.

Surprise

There have been many retrospectives on the life and times of Steve Jobs. The impact on society of Steve, and his company, Apple, has been significant. He transformed several entire industries: computing, desktop publishing, music, phones, tablets. He even made the commercial the best part of the Super Bowl, with his blockbuster ad in 1984. Really, Steve had different ideas about how we communicate. He took the value of simplicity to extremes, even in his annual lectures to the Apple faithful. It is here where those of us who are on stage (as teachers of musicians), can learn something. Listen to Penn Jillette, a master magician and a transformative communicator in his own right, reminisce about what he saw in Steve. In this article from Wired magazine (December, 2011) you might find some ideas to help you be a masterful, surprising teacher, like Steve, Penn, or better yet, like Jesus.

"Steve Jobs is famous for his keynotes. And of course he was wonderful when he unveiled the iCloud and the iPad2 earlier this year. But by then, he was already 'Steve Jobs.' At some point, when the Rolling Stones walk onstage, people cheer. But in 1984, he still had to earn it. And he did it with pure showbiz.

"Even then, in that first keynote when he introduced the Mac, Steve Jobs knew the importance of keeping secrets and the element of surprise. Everybody thinks they outgrow that. The file industry has decided that surprise doesn't matter at all - they'll show you the "Luke, I'm your father" moment in the trailer. But as a magician, I think about the use of secrets and surprise all the time. It's astonishing how well they work. What I find so fascinating in that, while Jobs was sophisticated and the ideas he was selling were deeply intellectual, he was using tactics that play right into our monkey brains.

"He structured this announcement so well. He's got something in a bag. And the word bag is funny, it's humble. It is also not a cliche'. Box would have been cliche'. Holding it in my hand would have been a cliche'. But bag makes it so personal and honest and childlike. And then he takes the computer out of the bag and it speaks - and it refers to Jobs as its father, which anthropomorphizes it and makes it cute and gentle.

"If you gave that routine to any other CEO, they would say, "I need 30 more jokes in there." But Jobs had the confidence not to do that. When (Penn's partner) Tell and I first played off-Broadway, it was wonderful to go onstage and start our show kind of slowly and easily, knowing that in 50 minutes the audience was going to like us. And Jobs was the same way that day in 1984. He didn't come in clapping his hands and going, 'Whoa whoa whoa, have we got something for you!' He knew that the way to do it is nice and easy and slow.

"Dai Vernon, who revolutionized magic in the 20th Century, said that onstage, movements should be natural. That's something that very few people in magic understand and very few public speakers understand. But Jobs followed that completely. There's nothing about the way he moves that you wouldn't do in a living room. Watch the way he pulls the disk out of his pocket and slides it into the front of the Mac. It's not too slight. He slides it in like bread into a toaster.

"So: He didn't do too much buildup. He let the surprise sell itself. He did just a few jokes and did them very well. And then he got...off the stage. You could structure a 15-minute magic show exactly the same way."

...Or a 30-minute sermon.